Naija Beans & Plantain: How to Order Like You Sabi (Recipe Inside!)
By: Chimdindu Ken-Anaukwu
If you never queue for mama put joint for afternoon sun, e never complete. The smell of beans wey don dey soak stew since morning, plantain wey don kiss hot oil, and woman wey dey shout “Next customer, abeg order fast!”, that na real-life experience wey no get part two.
But the real test no be just to chop, na to order am like true Naija person without falling hand.
1. The Mama Put Scene
Mama put no be restaurant. E no get menu. E no get POS. Na place wey food dey serve respect-free.
If you dey new to the game, calm down. Observe first. The pros go just waka reach counter, look the food, then open mouth:
“Mama, give me beans ₦1000, add small plantain ₦500. No add that stew wey cold abeg.”
See as smooth e sound? No grammar. No confusion. Straight Pidgin diplomacy.
2. Ordering Like You Sabi
When you wan order, tone matter pass grammar. If you shout, you go collect last plate. If you too quiet, dem go skip you.
Balance am like this:
“Mama, abeg arrange one correct plate for me.”
“Add small oil, make e get flavor.”
“No put that top beans, e don strong.”
“Abeg, give me the ripe plantain wey dey golden; no that black one.”
And if you wan show experience small, end am with:
“Make e dey sweet like last week own, ehn?”
Mama go laugh; and trust me, your plate go full pass the next man own.
3. The Hidden Politics of “Small Stew”
When you say “add small stew,” just know say you enter negotiation. Mama fit interpret “small” as one teaspoon, while your own mind na full spoon.
So be clear:
“Mama, when I say small stew, I mean generous small o!”
The secret? Add “abeg” and smile. Nigerian food politics na 70% tone, 30% plate.
4. Recipe: Proper Naija Beans & Plantain 🍛
You fit recreate this legend for house. Here’s how true mama put beans and plantain dey go:
Ingredients:
2 cups brown or black-eyed beans
2 cooking spoons palm oil
1 onion (chopped)
2 fresh tomatoes (blended)
2 scotch bonnet peppers (ata rodo)
1 teaspoon crayfish (optional but elite)
Salt and seasoning to taste
2 ripe plantains
Vegetable oil for frying
Steps:
Wash and boil your beans till e soft (about 40–50 minutes).
In another pot, heat palm oil, fry onions, tomatoes, and pepper till dem mix well.
Add crayfish, salt, and seasoning cubes. Stir am like say you get passion.
Pour in the cooked beans and mix everything together. Allow to simmer for 10 minutes so flavor go soak in.
For the plantain; slice, salt am small, and fry till golden.
Serve hot with confidence. (Bonus points if you use transparent takeaway plate. 😂)
5. Street Survival FAQs (aka Things Nobody Go Tell You)
Q: Why mama put beans dey always sweet pass home beans?
A: Na secret combo of “old pot” flavor + plenty palm oil + long talk with customers wey dey add seasoning of gist.
Q: How you take know ripe plantain go sweet?
A: If e don get black patches but never soft die, e go sweet. Trust the process.
Q: Can I use English to order?
A: You fit, but mama go just smile and serve you smaller portion. Try small Pidgin like “Abeg add small stew”, you go see difference.
Q: Why mama put women no dey smile sometimes?
A: Bros, dem don fight rice, beans, and 300 customers since morning. Just greet first: “Mama, you don try today o.” You go see smile.
Q: Can I ask for extra plantain after plate don come?
A: You fit, but no forget say plantain dey cost like gold now. So, use style: “Mama, that your plantain too sweet o. Abeg add two join, I go pay.”
Final Yarn
Ordering food for Naija no be small thing — na language, lifestyle, and survival skill. The day you fit enter mama put and order with Pidgin confidence, you don graduate.
Because for Naija, beans and plantain no just fill belle — e dey bond people.
From road worker to tech bro, from student to CEO — once that spoon enter, na same respect all of una dey chop.
So next time you hear, “Who dey last for beans?”,
Just smile and reply,
“Na me. Mama, make my own dey jollof!” 😋
Speak Pidgin Today